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Loss of Etiquette
June 05, 2006
Where has the etiquette gone?
At two recent Wedding Showers, Christa and her mother has been asked to fill out a Thank You card to themselves… instead of the Bride-to-be writing out the cards, the gift giver simply fills out the card and then receives it in the mail.
That is unbelievably tacky and selfish. The women doing this claim that it is done in the name of “making sure your Thank You card doesn’t name the wrong gift.” But we all know that it’s really done in the name of “I’m too lazy and important to take the time to personally Thank You.”
Christa has written all of our Thank You notes, by hand, and gotten every gift note correct. It’s not that hard. Write a few notes here and there, and it’s not going to kill the day.
Another lack of etiquette is starting to show in our own Wedding. I may touch off a few, “wait a minute Paul, there’s still time!” and “get over yourself!” comments, but I don’t care. I’ve heard other people complain about this as well.
RSVPing. It isn’t hard. We’ve addressed and stamped the envelopes for you. All you have to do is write “John Doe Will (or Will not)” be attending, and stick it in the mail. My mother is waiting on numerous replies… I don’t care if you can’t make it (well, I care, but I completely understand), but we need to know this. Why is it so hard to be respectful and put the RSVP in the mail?
And, for those who have been saying “it’s confusing.” It’s not… really, it isn’t. The RSVP card says “Holland Reception, June 23, Till Midnight”… So, you’re obviously RSVPing for the Holland Reception.
From Howstuffworks.com: (http://people.howstuffworks.com/question450.htm)
“R.S.V.P. stands for a French phrase, “répondez, s’il vous plaît,” which means “please reply.” The person sending the invitation would like you to tell him or her whether you accept or decline the invitation. That is, will you be coming to the event or not? Etiquette rules followed in most Western cultures require that if you receive a formal, written invitation, you should reply promptly, perhaps that same day. For hosts who are planning a dinner party, a wedding or a reception, this is important from a practical point of view, because they need to know how many people to count on and how much food and drink to buy. More important, though, is the simple courtesy of responding to someone who was nice enough to invite you, even if it is to say that you regret that you will not be able to attend.”
Rant Over. For now.
Posted by paul at June 5, 2006 07:16 PM
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Comments
Isabelle Robinson said on June 7, 2006 09:24 AMHi Paul
This is one of your UK cousins here. In case you're not sure which one, perhaps the photos on my flikr page (http://www.flickr.com/photos/izzy-the-pure/ -please ignore the drunk ones) might help bring me to mind. I found this page one afternoon when I was doing some major googling of various people's names, in order to avoid a boring work task that I was putting off...
Anyway, your lastest post prompted me to let you know (in the unlikely event that my mother hasn't been her usual super-efficient self) that she and my sister Stella won't be able to make it to your big day.
Hope the wedding goes well for you and Christa, and that you have a great honeymoon and happy life.
Isabelle
Dale said on June 25, 2006 06:27 PM(Still not married, but hoping her man will eventually make an honest woman of her!)
Hey, Paul -- we made handwritten invites and thank-yous, too. Damn that was a lot of work, but we got many compliments that they were the nicest the recipients had ever seen. Our whole wedding was mostly DIY.
Grandma Dood said on August 6, 2006 08:18 AMDear Paul, I love your insights on life in the city. As you know we always tried to buy in Holland first and support the city. I miss you,love grandma. Oh I,m doing 15 lbs. of ribs today for Jon Hoffmans 18th birthday.